This morning I found myself in a luxury hotel room, sleeping on down pillows, awoken gently from the rising sun. I am in paradise. And yet I still felt sad.
I am so fortunate; just truly blessed.
I have an expanding family who is deeply supportive.
My friendships are incredibly enriching.
My colleagues encourage my growth, challenge me to stretch my legs.
I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, legs and arms which carry me forward.
I share a sweet and intimate relationship with my higher power.
All these things and yet my ego is gnawing at me in the background for anything it can find wrong. Even still with the thousands of blessings, the ego will still look for ways in which it is validated in unworthiness.
Here’s the thing: the ego will always be there; it’s job is to keep the mind preoccupied with the trivial, the banal, the should/oughts. It’s job is not to experience true joy or true happiness, therefore it will never share in celebrating.
And it is completely bogus! Frankly I’m just sick and tired of listening to it.
It is my responsibility to cultivate my mind. It is my right to connect with the spirit. It is my choice to nourish my body. These are incredible gifts which I do not want to take for granted — so I won’t.
If you’re like me and even when things are going so well but that nagging feeling of discontent is still present, here are a few thoughts:
-Name it as the ego and acknowledge its role as perpetrator of fear and pain.
-Hear what it’s saying, but don’t obsess over it or validate by looking for confirmation.
-Consciously choose to put down the negative and choose to only the positive.
Love like each day is a luxury, live in joy for each moment. Choose gratitude and turn to your higher power in times of doubt. It gets easier to do as time goes by, and insodoing life gets so much better.